Of Onions and Men

        
                                             Hilary: product of the liberal bubble

“The lowlands grow onions; the highlands grow men” ─ Bulgarian saying.

The most hilarious titbit from the news of the last couple of weeks was undoubtedly Lena Dunham’s reaction to accusations of child molestation.

These arose from the publication of Dunham’s eagerly anticipated memoir Not That Kind of Girl. As well as all the usual self-absorption and vagina obsession that we’ve come to expect from the creator and star of Girls there were some passages about her sister, which are creepy to say the least.

For example this when Dunham was seven and her sister one:

One day, as I sat in our driveway in Long Island playing with blocks and buckets, my curiosity got the best of me. Grace was sitting up, babbling and smiling, and I leaned down between her legs and carefully spread open her vagina. She didn’t resist and when I saw what was inside I shrieked.

My mother came running. “Mama, Mama! Grace has something in there!”

My mother didn’t bother asking why I had opened Grace’s vagina. This was within the spectrum of things I did. She just got on her knees and looked for herself. It quickly became apparent that Grace had stuffed six or seven pebbles in there. My mother removed them patiently while Grace cackled, thrilled that her prank had been a success.

This fails the smell test. Shoving six or seven pebbles up your vagina is not within the spectrum of what one-year-olds do, so how old in fact was Dunham when she decided to examine her sister’s private parts?

Later she reveals that:

As she grew, I took to bribing her for her time and affection: one dollar in quarters if I could do her makeup like a “motorcycle chick.” Three pieces of candy if I could kiss her on the lips for five seconds. Whatever she wanted to watch on TV if she would just “relax on me.” Basically, anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl I was trying.

And

I shared a bed with my sister, Grace, until I was seventeen years old. She was afraid to sleep alone and would begin asking me around 5:00 P.M. every day whether she could sleep with me. I put on a big show of saying no, taking pleasure in watching her beg and sulk, but eventually I always relented. Her sticky, muscly little body thrashed beside me every night as I read Anne Sexton, watched reruns of SNL, sometimes even as I slipped my hand into my underwear to figure some stuff out.

Now I don’t think masturbating next to your 10 year old sister a decade ago is anything we necessarily want to bother the authorities about. But bothering the authorities and screaming from the rooftops about evil Republicans is exactly what Lena Dunham has built her career on.

So Dunham’s utter horror and mystification that sainted she could ever be accused of something as vile as child molesting is truly comic and particularly so as all the evidence for the charge comes from her own hand.

It should also serve as a learning point for exasperated Republicans.

A learning point because it reveals that the biased liberal media far from being a curse to Republicans is actually one of the right’s biggest advantages.

But before I get on to that let’s look at how Dunham could ever have written, read through and then forwarded such creepy lines to the publisher without any alarm bells ringing.

First and foremost there is the beatific certainty in Lena’s mind that being a progressive means she is good, and therefore above suspicion. So it follows that the same actions that she would revile in a conservative should obviously be seen by the world as cute and endearingly eccentric when she does them.

Then there is the utter domination of America’s intellectual life by her fellow liberals following their victory in the culture wars. This provides a very reassuring comfort blanket to left wing activists, particularly the dimmer ones. How could Lena ever have the slightest of doubts about the validity of her world view when it is shared and supported by so many luminaries from the Ivy League?

And why not tell cute stories about diddling with her sister when literally everything she’s excreted up to now has been met with the same sort of expressions of delight from the media that new parents greet a successful bowel movement from junior.

The learning point for Republicans is to recognise that the same liberal bubble  that produces a pathetic, self-pitying, “voice of a generation” comedienne also supplies the Democratic party with its candidates.

Barack Obama, could never have got anywhere near the Oval Office if the fourth estate had performed their scrutiny role and  revealed his left-wing record, overweening vanity and lack of achievement. Those cheerleading liberal journalists that dominate the MSM obviously thought they were helping their team. But heaving the first affirmative action president across the line has destroyed the case for big government for a generation and won more votes for the Republicans than any figure since Reagan.

And Obama is no one off. The liberal bubble has saddled the Democrats with one inadequate after another for decades. 

Carter the idealistic peanut farmer.

Dukakis the first cyborg to run.

Clinton the serial sex abuser.

Al Gore the new updated series 2000 cyborg candidate.

John Kerry, the anti-hero mannequin  and his running mate Jonathan Edwards the shyster lawyer.

And what of the line up for 2016? Hilary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren!

Hilary who has been running for president for 20 years, but still manages to come out with the unbelievably stupid remark above about corporations not creating jobs. Amazingly enough that sort of remark won't kill off her chances. The fatal flaw in her campaign will be her age and experience. Ironically, atheist Democrat activists seem to need a fresh-faced Jesus type candidate who promises a new Jerusalem every eight years.

So my money’s on Elizabeth Warren who claimed native American descent to climb aboard the affirmative action bandwagon. She may have the appearance of a slightly irate sheep, but she massages the liberal G-spot with the dexterity of a pro.

So take comfort Republicans. The MSM, the education and Hollywood elites have created an impenetrable bubble of complacency which incubates an endless stream of sinister, incompetent (and sometimes animatronic) freaks.

Democratic candidates are the onions that grow on those bubble enclosed soft liberal lowlands.

All the Republicans have to do is expose these vampires feasting on America’s blood to the light of publicity. And the new media and internet provide the perfect opportunity to do so.

Then hope that the hard conservative mountains forever lashed by the icy blasts of elite liberal abuse that grow the best Republican candidates throw up a few real men (of either sex) to dice the onions.

That's the rub, of course. The comfortable lowlands of the liberal bubble produce an endless succession of freaks, but the wind lashed Republican uplands don't seem to produce many particularly impressive specimens either.

That conceded, in terms of personal achievements, strength of character and real empathy to those of a different background Romney is ten times the man Obama will ever be.