The vital importance of powerful suction
Life back in the 1970s was pretty drab for a kid. No Play Stations, no Facebook, no mobiles etc... But we did have our excitements. One of mine was pulling the chain on the cistern in my primary school toilets. The tank was perched about 2 metres up and carried about 3 gallons (13litres). Whatever problem was sitting in the toilet bowl this baby was the answer. One tug on the chain and it was like Niagara was unleashed. The chain vibrated, water crashed down, the seat shuddered. A seemingly endless torrent scoured the toilet bowl sparkling clean, a WC and bidet rolled into one. It was a ten-second adventure that would scare the living daylights out of a contemporary teen never mind an infant.
That's because these days all new cisterns in the EU are limited to 6 litres and a recent EU study has determined that 5 will be perfectly sufficient for our needs.
If there’s a hell, there’ll be several particularly unfortunate inmates, all former eurocrats, whose job for all eternity will be the cleaning of toilet bowls. They’ll be the ones who came up with this ideal size of a toilet cistern. “Ideal” in the same sense that their predecessors in East Germany decided that the Trabant would be the ideal car for the masses and that you’d be out of your mind to want anything better. And if you were thus proved out of your mind, they had excellent mental hospitals to sort you out.
The thing that got me reminiscing about functioning toilets was the latest diktat from Brussels. From September 1st all vacuum cleaners over 1600W are banned. Currently the average power of these machines in Britain is 1800W so from now on most of us will have to buy an inferior model. In fact, 5 out of 7 vacuum cleaners awarded “Best Buy” status by Which magazine since January 2013 will now be as illegal as cannabis from September 1st. Sorry, I forgot for a minute that the brain rotting, anti-citizen weed is now widely available and well on its way to legality.
So let’s say then that now along with filament light bulbs, mercury barometers (though not mercury containing eco-bulbs) and functioning toilets, the best vacuum cleaners are now as illegal as heroin. Though if you were to offer me a bet as to which of the above would be re-legalised in the next few years my money would be on the white powder.
And this is only the beginning. By 2017 no cleaner over 900W will be permitted. I guess we’re going to find out what the equivalent of the Trabant is in the world of vacuuming.
Obviously, compared to what’s going on in places such as Syria and Iraq the endless chipping away at our freedom by the EU seems trivial. It isn’t.
This decades long progressive encroachment from the unelected, unanswerable and unremoveable bureaucrats and career politicos of the EU has sapped the very life blood of our democracy, which when all is said and done is actually all that stands between us and the fate of those in Syria and Iraq.
One illustration of the current state of democracy is the response from British people to this latest impertinence from Brussels: an apathetic grumbling. They know from experience that there is absolutely no point in protesting.
Another illustration is the barefaced almost unbelievably smug mendacity used by eurocrats. Their mission statement appears to be: “Testing to destruction Hitler’s maxim that the people more easily fall victim to a great lie than to a small one”.
For example, this is how Marlene Holzner, European Commission spokesperson for energy, explains the benefits of the ban on vacuum cleaners over 1600W:
'In the past there was no legislation on vacuum cleaners and companies could sell poorly performing vacuum cleaners.
‘Now, vacuum cleaners that use a lot of energy, that pick up dust poorly, emit too much dust at the exhaust of the vacuum cleaner, are noisy or break down pre-maturely will not be allowed on the market anymore.
“This means a better cleaning experience and less time and money spent on vacuum cleaning.’
Say what you like about Britain’s plucky lads in ISIS, but my guess is that Marlene will be occupying a lower circle of hell, hoovering up the Sahara for all time with a dust buster!
There is only one way to save our freedom and the peace and prosperity that depend on it. All law making must be done at Westminster by politicians that can be fired.
The EU will always be left, so we must leave.