German Coolies

                                                         And you think you've got problems?

For an insight into what makes a Teuton tick, consider that there is a German toymaker which sells a range of cuddly toys each with its own particular mental disorder.

"Patients" from the Paraplush toy company include Sly the snake who suffers from horrifying hallucinations and Dolly the sheep who has a multiple personality disorder. Each toy comes complete with a medical history and treatment plan.

Apparently, there isn't a Dumbass the donkey that has a strange compulsion to buy solar panels. But perhaps that would strike a little too close to home in this northern European country that has to date "invested" €100 billion in those Green indulgences.

Tomorrow brings a meeting of the its constitutional court that will probably have Germans clinging even tighter than usual to their stuffed pacifiers. Germany's top judges are to decide in response to a petition from 37,000 citizens whether ECB head "Super" Mario Draghi's policy of spending however much German money it takes to save the euro is constitutional.

Unsurprisingly, nerves are a bit frayed at the ECB in the run up to the judges' verdict. The central bank will be represented by their enforcer, Joerg Asmussen. This ECB heavyweight was last in action during the Cyprus crisis when he announced that wholesale theft from private bank accounts would be "the template" for any similar future crises.

This time he's warning that there would be "serious consequences" if the judges ruled that the Bank's outright monetary transactions (OMT) programme is unlawful. Or in other words, "Nice country you've got there. Shame if something bad happened to it!"

The first consequence of not continuing to write blank cheques to the geniuses who gave us the euro would be the disintegration of the eurozone.

                                         

Curiously, it amounts to received wisdom that whereas the euro has been tough on weakling countries like Spain and Greece that both now enjoy unemployment rates of over 25%, it's been splendid for the Germans.

And certain stats are usually wheeled out to prove the point. Last year, for example, the EU's powerhouse had a trade surplus of $208 billion and an unemployment rate of just 6%.

But, in fact, the euro is equally as disastrous to prudent, hardworking Germans as it is to indolent Mediterraneans?

The great thing about being in the eurozone for the Germans is supposed to be that, including as it does economic basket cases such as Greece, the common currency is much weaker than the old Deutschmark. This makes German exports really cheap resulting in those whopping $200bn plus surpluses every year.

But what's so great about giving foreigners $200bn more of your stuff (about $2500 from each man, woman and child in Germany) than they give to you in return?

The whole point of exporting is to pay for the imports you need plus a few holidays in the sun on top. When a country is as competitive as Germany, an appreciating currency is not a curse but a reward for all that hard work. As your currency goes up you pay less for everything you buy from other countries and you also get to colonise many more sun loungers in faraway places with your beach towels. And that's the way it worked for decades with the Deutschmark.

So when they consider the cost of the euro to their country:

In addition to the tens of billions lost in the bailouts.

And the prospect of catastrophic economic disruption from the inevitable forthcoming breakup of the eurozone.

And the loss of sovereignty that results in jumped up bureaucrats like Joerg Asmussen blackmailing the constitutional judges of a proud country.

In addition to all that, the enormous rewards of a steadily appreciating currency are cynically and artificially being denied the Germans by their leaders' betrayal. All they get for working harder and more effectively than the rest of us is a whole load of IOUs in the form of dollars and pounds whose value is being inflated away by their unscrupulous governments.

The Germans are being treated by their leaders the same way as the laboratory mice like Chinese are by theirs.

                           

On the one hand, the Chinese are deprived of the fruits of their labour to fund the construction of a superpower in a single generation. On the other, ordinary Germans are being fleeced to serve the cause of building a European super state.

Ordinary Germans are the coolies at the base of the EU pyramid project. Thirty seven thousand know it and have petitioned their constitutional court to do its job.

Don't hold your breath, Hans.